Chores, Laundry and Jokes
by melting gold
Summary: Now that Bella became a vampire she is part of the family. This means in the good and in the bad. ONESHOT. rated T for suggestive themes


"Family meeting!" Alice yelled for some reason. Bella wondered what's up.

Everyone gathered around the useless dining room, all of them confused. Even Carlisle was there instead of in the hospital.

Esme started: "Bella, since you have become a vampire you are officially part of the family."

Everyone clapped, including Rosalie. She has been way nicer to Bella since she, Alice and Edward came back from Volterra.

"So", the mother-figure continued, "You have to be treated just like any other family member." Bella nodded, it only made sense.

"Therefore, you have to have chores too!" She finished. Alice smiled knowingly, already 'seeing' how this scenario turned out.

"Off course, Esme, what chore do I get? It's only fair." Replied Bella.

"You can choose. There is yard work, dusting, floor-washing, laundry, weekly- grocery shopping and anything else you can think of… This house is gigantic and I would love to have someone helping me without complaining for once."

"Hey, we don't complain." Jasper yelled.

"Yes you do. And you whine too!" Alice shot.

All the men pouted (including Carlisle), knowing that the girls were right…again.

"Can we please get back to the subject?" Rosalie complained. "Emmet and I were very busy before we were so rudely interrupted."

Emmet grinned and rapped his arm around her waist, obviously thinking about it.

"Ewe! Please get those R rated thoughts out of your dense head!" That was obviously Edward.

"Did you just call me an idiot, idiot? It's not my fault you're so sexually frustrated that you can't handle my thoughts with grace. It's not my fault you suck so bad in bed that Bella doesn't want to sleep with you!"

Carlisle: "Boys, that's out of line. Emmet, you're grounded for a month."

"No fair! He started it!"

"And," Carlisle continued, "Edward, you should be used to Emmet's exotic thoughts by now."

Through that all, Bella turned tomato red (a quality she carried on from her human life). She felt she had to defend Edward's wounded male ego so she said: "Edward and I don't feel that we've got to suck on each other every second of the day. We can be content with our clothes still on…"

"You could have fooled me…" Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Can we please stop having this conversation and start talking about what chore Bella will get?" –Emmet, clearly anxious to hearing her punishment…err…chore.

"Please pick yard work. I'm sick of weeding and collecting leaves." Begged Jasper.

She decided not to make Jasper happy since he made such a rude comment about her and Edward's relationship. "Well….I guess I'll pick grocery shopping…and…folding the laundry…." That sounded reasonable.

Everyone cracked up, excluding Edward.

"What's so funny?'

Alice tried to quit laughing but she ended up just gasping for air. "It's just that-"

Esme, knowing her children were laughing on someone's expense (namely Edward) shushed them with a stern look.

Edward seemed very upset. "Laundry used to be my thing"

"Let's just say that…before you came…when every couple was in their own separate room…doing their own private 'things'…Edward was always the odd man out." Esme began explaining. "Since he was so lonely…"

"Hey," interjected Edward, "I wasn't lonely, I just didn't know that there was something better in life than being alone."

"…Okay, when he was alone, he tended to get bored so when everyone was in their respectable rooms, doing their own thing, he used to fold laundry, to pass the time and to distract himself from our thoughts."

Bella simply smiled, whispering in his ear, "Don't worry, I'll make it up to you later…" she finished off suggestively.

Edward grinned, glancing at Emmet with an 'I-told-you-I-was-gettin'-some' look. He kissed the top of her head.

Carlisle broke the silence. "Bella, I know you think folding laundry is a simple task but that just goes to show how long you've been in the family."

"What's so hard about folding clothes with amazing speed and all the time in the world?"

Jasper answered her question. "You know how every morning we have to get ready to go to school?"

"Yeah…?"

"Well, let's just say Alice and Rosalie have a very hard trying to figure out what to wear. Resulting in a humongous pile of clothes on each of their beds. When you get back from school you have to fold and put them all away in the closet. And that doesn't even include the rest of the family's clothes."

"It's not our fault we have so many pretty clothes." Alice pouted.

"Of course not honey." Jasper reasoned.

"Don't forget Edward!" Emmet cried. Still wanted revenge for him getting grounded.

"Do I even want to know?" Bella asked.

Rosalie snorted. "He's just as bad as us, always wanting to impress you…Changing clothes every five minutes. You can't imagine how much time he has been spending with the mirror lately, trying to look good for you."

Edward cast his eyes down. He would have blushed from embarrassment if he could.

"Ah! That's so sweet. You're trying to impress me? You're naturally hot; you don't even need to try." Bella stood on her tippy-toes and kissed him on the lips. Edward smiled sheepishly.

"Anyways, getting back on track, I think I can handle folding clothes and grocery shopping just fine." With that, Bella wrapped up their family meeting.

**ONE DAY LATER**

"My god, oh many clothes do you people change daily? When will this torture stop?" Bella groaned.

"Don't worry, love, you don't have to this for TOO long…" Edward tried to sooth her while helping her with the massive pile of clothes. Inwardly, he was happy he was off of laundry duty.

"How long is that exactly?"

"OH…just for the rest of eternity!" He grinned mischievously.


End file.
